Category Archives: My Neighbour Errol
My Neighbour Errol- Emergencies
This is a real quick post, and I already put this on facebook, but it’s too amusing not to share:
The following conversation happened in front of my boss:
(phone rings)
Me: hello?
Errol: I thought you were at work!
Me: I am! I thought you were my mom or something.
Errol: your mom is more important than me?!
Me: where are you?
Errol: (happily) at home!
Me: call back if you have an emergency (hangs up)
Two seconds later, phone rings again:
Me: craps sake, Errol.
Errol: I think we should determine what constitutes an emergency.
Me: what?
Errol: is me pooing an emergency?
Me: if you are dying while doing so
Errol: dying of loneliness?
Me: I am going back to work, Errol
My Neighbour Errol- The Stupid Face
Errol always loves to tease and provoke others. This is common knowledge. But there are those occasions when there is an extra special joy he gets out of making someone truly uncomfortable. When this happens, when he knows he has pushed someone’s buttons, or has rendered them into an uncomfortable panicked silence, something truly magical happens.
Wait…did I say magical? I meant infuriating. A glint will enter his eyes, his mouth will widen in an open smile, his head will bob from side to side in delight, and an air of extreme smug joy will permeate the air. I have come to call this: The Stupid Face. Beware it. It feeds off your embarrassment.
Do not trust this. Beneath this innocent exterior lies the soul of an evil genius.
My Neighbour Errol- Co-Dependence
My next entry is going to be some insight into my writing process, but for now, here’s a quick anecdote to tide the 12 people who read this over.
In a moment of weakness…or weirdness, I joined okCupid. This blog is the only place I will admit that :D. This entry is certainly not going on facebook (edit: okay…I totally did…). It’s a weird little place with weird sets of codes. I will probably only last two weeks. I haven’t told many people about it, but I did tell Errol. This…might have been a mistake: Read the rest of this entry
My Neighbour Errol: sweetie
This is mostly a test to see how well this works from a phone, but I have to get this down:
I have a mean client at work. Poor Errol hears a lot of rants from me about him. Only today did he get something out of it:
Me: Mean client came in today.
Errol: was he mean?
Me: well, he treated me like I was stupid.
Errol: does he call you Ms. Whitney?
Me: no, he calls me sweetie. I hate it. It just makes me feel so–
Errol (gets a joyous glint in his eye)
Me: oh No….no, don’t you dare!
Errol: (claps his hands in delight)
Me: Jerk.
Errol: that’s not nice, sweetie.
Me: he can say it because he pays bills! I don’t have to accept it from you!
Errol: okay. I’m going to get more water sweetie.
Me: (fumes)
My Neighbour Errol- Awkward Hugs
I am not known as a…huggy person. It’s not that I don’t like them. Don’t get me wrong, I love hugs. When someone offers one, I will fully accept it. When I’ve known someone for ten years I am completely comfortable. But I’m not usually one to pass out hugs like cookies…then again, I’m not one to pass out cookies either.
I feel your pain, buddy. Those our OUR cookies.
My Neighbour Errol- Elevator Adventures
It’s official, I’m calling these posts My Neighbour Errol (for the non-Miyazaki fans, this is a play on My Neighbour Totoro). We always joke that if Errol were to have a sitcom, that would be it’s name. Since that is unlikely to happen, I might as well make good use of the name.
Potential show poster…
First: backstory. About a month ago, Errol got a new job, the first 9-5 job he’s had in about ten years. About a week into his new job, while bored on the bus, he decided to call me while I was getting ready for work. Since then, every morning, without fail, he has called me. I play a little game now called “Will Errol call before my alarm?”. The answer is usually yes, at least for the second alarm (that’s right, I have two alarms…I’m that scared). Heck, if it weren’t for my extreme paranoia, I could probably depend on him to be my alarm. Read the rest of this entry
Thoughts from the Test Chamber 