Monthly Archives: January 2015
Conversations With Stuff: More Willpower
I and my family are trying to go low carb. I have been told the first week is the hardest. It is Day 3. The internal battle is tiring:
Willpower: Have a salad.
Instinct: WITH BREAD!
Willpower: Shut-up, instinct, we’re doing this and we’re doing it right.
Instinct: …This is actually good!
Willpower: See, it’s not so bad–
Instinct: But I’m still hungry! BREAD TIME!
Willpower: maybe you can have yogurt later!
Instinct: I WANTS BREAD!
Willpower: For the last time—
Instinct: THIS BREAD TASTES AWFUL!
Willpower: That’s your hand.
Willpower: Which oddly enough would be a no carb meal…
Instinct: SEE?! NO CARBS KILL!
Willpower: Eat the damn salad!
Whitless Letters to: Smash Brothers
Normally I would have a huge blog post to accompany this. But…well, the video pretty much speaks for itself this time around. I don’t like Smash Brothers. I don’t mind if people DO like it :D. I just don’t get it.
My Neighbour Errol: Farewell D&E
As many of you (or all of you) who read this know, my friend Errol has a geeky band called Debs and Errol…well…he HAD a geeky band called Debs and Errol. Last night after a month long hiatus, Errol showed me his farewell comic. As of this morning, D&E is no more. Read the rest of this entry
Conversations with Stuff: Governments
Sigh…my day job can be arduous at times:
Government: Hey! We have a new system for invoicing!
Me: That’s great…but isn’t it us who designs our own invoices to send you—
Government: YOUR INVOICES CONFUSE US! DO IT OUR WAY!
Me: Okay…sure…what do I need to do!
Government: Fill out this form! And send us a timesheet!
Me: Seems easy enough. Here is the form. And the timesheet.
Government: WHERE’S YOUR APPROVAL E-MAIL?!
Me: You didn’t say anything about an approval e-mail…
Government: WE CAN’T LOOK AT IT WITHOUT AN APPROVAL E-MAIL! NO APPROVAL FOR YOU!
Me: Okay, fine! Here’s the approval e-mail.
Government: GAH! WHY ARE YOU SENDING EVERYTHING TO US SEPARATELY?!
Me: Because you keep asking for new things after I send the old ones!
Government: IT CONFUSES US SO! WAAAAAAAAAH!
Me: Sorry? Next time I…will send all the things at once? Now that I know?
Government: you had better.
Me: So when can we expect to get paid?
Government: Soon. With a 2% discount.
Me: Wait, what? You mean YOU get a 2% discount?
Government: yes, for paying early.
Me: Since when?
Government: Since we gave you new terms.
Me: wait, you’re our customer, don’t WE dictate the terms?
Government: WAAAAAAAH! NO APPROVAL FOR YOU!
Me: ….You guys are teenagers, aren’t you? You have to be to be this entitled.