Sometimes I wonder what I would have been like had I been born in another time.

For instance, if I’d been born in the 16^th century or somewhere thereabouts, my pasty skin and larger figure would be fawned over by men everywhere because it would indicate I was rich and attractive rather than lazy and…well, pasty.

Although according to most paintings I’d have to be naked like, all the time.

If I’d been a teenager in the 80’s, my frizzy hair would be the envy of men and women alike. I would be teasing up a storm instead of hiding it under a mountain of mousse.

2 minutes and a hairdryer…then I’d be their god

And had I been born anywhere before the twentieth century, I would not have to use the terrifying contraption that is the telephone.

Buh Buh BUUUUHHH

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