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Conversations With Stuff: More Willpower

I and my family are trying to go low carb. I have been told the first week is the hardest. It is Day 3. The internal battle is tiring:

Instinct: BREAD!

Willpower: Have a salad.

Instinct: WITH BREAD!

Willpower: Shut-up, instinct, we’re doing this and we’re doing it right.

Instinct: …This is actually good!

Willpower: See, it’s not so bad–

Instinct: But I’m still hungry! BREAD TIME!

Willpower: maybe you can have yogurt later!

Instinct: I WANTS BREAD!

Willpower: For the last time—


Willpower: That’s your hand.

Instinct: Oh…

Willpower: Which oddly enough would be a no carb meal…

Instinct: SEE?! NO CARBS KILL!

Willpower: Eat the damn salad!