My Neighbour Errol: Ads

In this First World of ours, there are a few things which we know will never change. Milk will never go on sale. The PlayStation will always have better graphics but Nintendo will still kick its butt. And internet ads will always be a mildly annoying presence in our lives.

I am seriously sick of this one.

I am seriously sick of this one.

We know that to a degree, advertising is a necessary evil. People have got to get paid somehow. They need to get their product out there. Heck, it’s how most actors manage to survive in this world.

Even Meg Ryan

Even Meg Ryan

But that doesn’t stop us from sighing in exasperation when our Youtube videos are rudely interrupted by the same Cheerios ad for the twentieth time in ten minutes. Even the mildly funny ones lose their potency fairly quickly. Yes, it can be safely said that most people dislike internet ads.

My friend Errol abhors them.

Not just abhors them. You might as well be pulling his nails out.

 

No...not that kind...

No…not that kind…

The other day we were watching the latest episode of Doctor Who. There was the Doctor, spouting some whitty quip that would more than likely be quoted for years to come, when suddenly, BOOM, a Yellow Pages ad pops up.

Based on his reaction, this was the greatest betrayal in Errol’s life.

There was moaning.

even more than when he has  a milkshake

even more than when he has a milkshake

 

There was wailing.

errol upset

There was gnashing of teeth.

errol angry

Keep in mind that this is Errol. The happiest man on earth.

errolsugar

If he doesn’t get to eat eggs, he might be a bit sad but then he’ll see a Totoro and be happy again.

Well, he would make anyone happy.

Well, he would make anyone happy.

If a concert goes terribly? He smiles and shrugs it off.

Smugly

Smugly

If some personal tragedy happens, he somehow finds a bright side and talks about how important it is to move on in life.

Like when he jumps out of a tree like an idiot

Like when he jumps out of a tree like an idiot

If a Youtube ad comes on, it’s the end of the world.

This is terrifying enough to post twice

This is terrifying enough to post twice

If it has no option to “Skip” it, God help you.

Once I had decided to try and monetize our Youtube videos (you know, because I needed an extra 5 cents just in case).

Of course those of you with a channel of any sort know the deal with monetizing. It enables advertisements.

About three hours later I got a google chat from Errol.

Errol: There are ads! Why are there ads?!

Me: I thought we could monetize…

Errol: No! We can’t! Take them down!

Me: But they don’t actually play a video…it’s just a pop-up you can exit…

Errol: NO ADS! GET THEM DOWN NOW!

It remains to date the only time he’s ever been sincerely upset with me.

That, and when I made him film outside for 8 hours

That, and when I made him film outside for 8 hours

I’m not sure what internet ads did to Errol. I assume they hurt his children somehow because “crazy protective parent” is about the only explanation for the Shakespearean rage that occurs every time they are on.

Or perhaps it’s simply that  the repetitive, lengthy sequences have stripped away all patience and joy from the happiest brain on earth. That’s a feat.

Whatever the reason, watching television online has become a new sort of experience with me. I play a game now. It’s called “Can I guess when the ad will pop up and brace myself before Mount Errol erupts?”

The answer is almost always:  No.

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Posted on September 12, 2014, in My Neighbour Errol and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. And I thought I reacted badly to adverts- I at least tend to internalise my reaction and endure things (though I do keep my adblocker on for YouTube stuff- and any site I don’t trust to keep out the dodgy stuff), but I’d say adverts probably have something to do with my not watching much actual television any more (literally, the only thing I can guarantee to have watched on an actual television in any given year is Doctor Who, and that’s on the BBC who don’t actually run commercials).

    • Ugh they have ads in Doctor who here. It is disgusting. Doctor Who was never intended to have ads… Last season they actually formulated the show with good ad break moments. This season it appears they haven’t because the ads just interupt everything mid stride and you come back and are like “Ok that was abrupt”. And that’s a good thing! Doctor Who IS NOT MEANT TO HAVE ADS and the BBC America channel should not be corrupting the production of the show to enable it.

      I HATE watching it on BBC America for this very reason. The orchestrated breaks in the show just made me that much more upset. I will always watch it via another source if at all possible.

      Now – if they want to make me watch all the ads up front before the show starts, fine. I will do that. Schedule up that 7 minutes of ads. So be it. I’ll watch it and them. Just give me the show in its pure form so that I can enjoy it as it was intended…
      /rant

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