Me: Hey Hold Music?

Hold Music: HELLO! SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! Bah bah bah bah…

Me: Yeah…um…you said that ten minutes ago.

Hold Music: Did I? How time flies! Bah bah bah bah

Me: Right…I was just wondering, Hold Music…

Hold Music: How I stay this chipper?

Me: You stay that chipper by staying on a loop. No, what I was actually wondering was if maybe…you could…I don’t know…change it up?

Hold Music: Change? Why change? I am the most perfect music in the world! Bah bah bah baaaah

Me: See, I’m wondering what terrible parent encouraged that.

Hold Music: Music is provided by Mr. Dude! Bah bah bah baaaaaaaah

Me: For serious? You actually gave a name of who provides this? You do realize that I will hunt down this man.

Hold Music: Hunt him down and hug him for his contributions to art?! Bah BAH BBAAAAAAH BAH

Me: Or tear his throat out so he may never make suggestions again! Look, if I have to spend another hour listening to you, could we at least have more than one song?…Hold Music?

Hold Music: HELLO! SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! Bah bah bah bah…

Me: I am in hell.