Manda’s Guide to Grant Writing: Phase 1
1. Think of a cool creative project. Get excited.
2. Get crushed by reality of the whole “no money” thing.
3. Find out about grant. Convince yourself that absolutely no one else will apply and that it’ll be a breeze to get the government to give you money.
4. Open up a google doc. Make sure you name it!
5. Check your e-mail.
6. Stare at the document. Wonder what the heck an audience engagement strategy is.
7. Watch one episode of Malcolm in the Middle to calm your nerves. That was a great sitcom.
8. Write out the words “Give money now?”. Take a moment to realize you might need to clarify more.
9. Write out a paragraph. Erase it. Write another paragraph. Erase that one. Wish you were the Doctor who could probably just give a speech and have everyone begging him to make a webseries.
10. Start up a work-out routine because any time is a good time to be healthy! Besides which, you want to star in this webseries and you need to be fit.
11. Almost faint from severe lack of food in your system and pull every muscle in foot. Blame Jillian Michaels. Hobble back to computer.
12. Break for lunch. Devour pizza
13. Stare at document. Try to talk about how your webseries is the bestest webseries ever. Erase that paragraph because it feels bad to lie.
14. Straighten hair because creativity is easier when you feel pretty. Burn ear.
15. Glower at document. Pour glass of wine.
16. Reflect on life decisions.
17. Turn off netflix. Exit e-mail. Turn on Doctor Who theme. Finish document in an hour. Cry a little.
18. Watch Totoro to love life again. Start imagining life with a forest spirit. Try to ignore imaginary Errol smug face. Fail.