Conversations with Stuff: Hair

Me: Hey there, hair.

Hair: Good morning! What are we doing today?!

Me: Well…

Hair: Straightening? Curling? Some fancy Game of Thrones hair style you always wanted to do?

Someday...

Someday…

Me: About that…now, I don’t want you to freak out…

Hair: Why, what’s wrong? Are you shaving me?!

Me: No, no, nothing like that…it’s just…well, the weather…it’s gotten a bit…

Hair:…

Me:….

Hair:………..

Me:…Humid….

Hair: GASP!

Me: But if you could just keep calm today—

Hair: FRIIIIIZZZZZZZZ

Me: Because there’s no need to do that!

Hair: FRIZZ TIME!

Me: Please hold still–

Hair: EXPAND!

Me: While I put this product in…

Hair: ALL THE DIRECTIONS!

Me: Crap’s sake. That’s it, we’re going into a pony.

Hair: NO! YOU CANNOT CONTAIN US! IT’S FRIZZ SEASON! A TIME TO CELEBRATE!

Me: It’s for your own good!

Hair: HAIR FASCIST!

Me: That is the biggest over exaggeration I’ve heard today.

Hair: DON’T YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE RIVER SONG?!

River-Song

Me: She has sexy frizz. Your frizz is anything but.

Hair: HOW CAN I LEARN TO BE SEXY IF YOU DON’T LET ME BREATHE AND CREATE?!

Me:…

Hair: (puppy dog eyes)

Me: I’m getting an elastic.

Hair: I’M GOING TO STICK OUT IN WEIRD PLACES!

Me: Of course you are.

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Posted on June 25, 2014, in Conversations With Stuff and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Your hair does look like River’s now that I think about it. And gods I hate frizz season. It makes me wish short hair looked good on me or that shaving my head was an option.

  2. I think you mean Hair Fascist, not hair facist… just saying.

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