So a couple of months ago I saw a concert in our local comic shop by a band called The Doubleclicks. I sort of instantly fell in love and became a fangirl. For those that don’t know them, I recommend you check out their website.

Anyway, one of the songs they played was called Nothing to Prove, which was their own unique response to the whole “fake geek girl tests” that have been cropping up around the internet and conventions. The song is lovely and awesome and, I feel at least, is a great heartfelt personal message as well as a message for all geek girls out there who get harassed for “not being geeky enough” .

After the song was done, the Doubleclicks mentioned they would be making a music video for it and, if we were interested, would be taking video of various geek girls and their geek girl story. So I volunteered! And I’m in the video! And this is the result, and it’s awesome.

I watched the video. There we were, the geek girls, all telling our stories and making a stand against those who constantly question our geekiness because of our gender. Better than that, it’s not a message meant to hate and bash on men. That’s the sort of feminism I can’t stand. It’s one meant to celebrate women and those who would stand with women. I watched the video again, proud that I could be a part of this great project.

Then I read the youtube comments, and my soul hurts a little now.

I realize that the general rule of Youtube is “Don’t read the comments” but I couldn’t help myself in this instance. Obviously with such a heated topic and an insane amount of views there would be those out there who would attack and misinterpret the video’s message. But the viciousness still astounded me.

They called the Doubleclicks attention whores, snidely commenting that obviously they had never been harassed or given the fake geek girl test because they were pretty geeks (first, what? Second, they were, at their own concerts). They accused all of us that we just hate men. They asked sneeringly what exactly we thought this video would accomplish because clearly it doesn’t solve any problems. They said that real geeks don’t have to state that they are geeks and clearly there were posers here.

There are a lot of emotions in me right now. I feel angry because of all the trollers out there who hide behind their computer screens. I feel helpless that there is almost nothing to be done about them. I feel hurt that such a great song and message can still get stomped on.

But most of all…I feel confused. Confused that a subculture born out of rejection, who know all about being excluded, can so easily exclude others. We’re all geeks. We all love being geeks. Why do we need to have some contest to test the “purity” of a geek?

I suppose some might feel threatened, like we’re stomping on this sacred place that for so long was a haven and refuge. And to a degree, I do understand that. I sometimes feel that my fandoms are my own territory, and when people come along and start saying that they’ve just become fans too I feel that slight sense of superiority that clearly, I am the bigger fan than they so they had just better watch what they say. I guess that’s just human nature.

But then I get excited! You love the thing that I love? That’s awesome! Let’s talk about it! Let’s share it with the world! I want to know what you think of these particular Doctor Who episodes! I want to see what games you’ve played! And if you know more than me? Great! You can tell me all sorts of things I haven’t found out yet!

Because you see, being a geek is NOT about how much you know about a fandom. You can be a Star Trek geek without knowing how many photon torpedoes are in the Enterprise. You can be a Monty Python geek without quoting it endlessly. You don’t need to have played every console to be a video game geek. As long as you are passionate and love it, you are a geek.

But that doesn’t seem to be good enough for some people. With geeks becoming more mainstream, we’re getting more people who are just discovering the geek world and who want in, and as a result more people are feeling threatened and feel the need to test the purity of our geekdom. And for some reason, girls who aren’t the most hardcore of geeks are immediately dismissed.

Me? I would fail. Miserably. I suck at most video games and there is a certain pressure I felt at one point to be the best, because I was representing my gender. I even wrote a monologue about it (which maybe I’ll post a vid of at some point). But I desperately love them. I read about them. I write about them. I play them as often as possible. I am a video game geek.

There’s no reason we can’t get along. None. We are a subculture that was born out of rejection and ostracization. We shouldn’t be fighting over who gets to be a geek. We should be celebrating and accepting those who want to share in our passions. Girl or guy. Hardcore or casual.

And now because we girls decide to speak out, to defend ourselves, we’re being called attention whores? For daring to say “no” to the backlash of hate that’s being thrown around? Thankfully, they are in the minority and there are so many supportive people out there whom I love but…I just…I can’t…

I declare that I’m a geek now because I’m proud of it.

Anyway…phew…that was very long and rambly. And emotionally. Ugh. Another person might have found a more creative and clever way of talking about the issue. This was sort of just a gut reaction spit out onto a page. Heh.

There might not have been a point…except to watch this video and spread it around and outnumber the hateful comments. Seriously. Watch it. It’s very rare that I will take a true stance on a topic or talk this long about it. I usually steer away from talking about politics and gender  entirely (I…am not great with confrontation :D). But this one did hit close to home, and the only way to avoid the hate is to spread the good vibes and hope that eventually they will outweigh all the bad ones.

Great job, Doubleclicks. You’re a great role model and wonderful song writers.