My Neighbour Errol: Texting

There is a spot behind on my computer desk, just behind the moniter, that has no phone signal. I only realized this a couple of days ago when my phone was sitting there and not making any noise despite me seeing emails pop up on my computer.

Remember when we just did this on phones? Good times.

Remember when we just did this on phones? Good times.

Who cares? You may be thinking to yourself. And I would agree. Normally, this doesn’t even categorize as a “first world problem” so insignificant it is. But then, you may not have an Errol who wants to get a hold of you.

I was having my normal morning conversation with Errol, which has oddly enough become routine. As usual, Errol reached the subway, told me that he’d call in a bit once he got out of the subway, at which point I hung up and without thinking put the phone in the desk void.

DANGER!

DANGER!

I did not pick it up until around 25 minutes later as I was heading out the door. At which point it suddenly started buzzing with activity.

I have spoken before of my morning conversations with Errol. Many people’s response was to ask why didn’t I simply just not answer my phone? Or ignore the texts? Or just turn it off entirely? Sure, Errol established I’m usually available but what could happen? Well, people, this. This is what happens.

The Errol Text Attack:

Where pan pans?

Pan pans is gone!

Pan pansgone!

Where is the pan pans?

Allo panpan

Is it because you hate me?

Are you mad at me panpans?

Ploor panpans

Maybe panpans is talking to a boooy

Lustfrau!

Boy bod for manpans

Manpans lurves the boybod

Where Manpans!

Howcome there is no answer?

Did I reach the limit of pan pan?

Boybod

Mmmm manpans likes the boybod

Whereeeeeeeee

Silly pan pans

Panpans!

Why

Why does it go straight to voice mail?

I can’t type as fast as I Want

I neeed a new phone

What areyou doing?

Panpans is probably kissing someone

Yummy kissing

Mmmmm

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

I’m pretending I’m navi

Ij wonderwhat the weather is supposed to be like

“‘Til now..I always got to be on my own”

“how do I get you alone”

Hey!

Allo?

Hey!

Where is the pan pans?????

Wheeeeeeeerrrrrre

I will try again

It goes straight to Voice???

What did you do?didyou brek the phone?

Stuplid keyboard

Andpan pans is gone!

Pan paaaaans

Pan pans!

Yummy

Delicious

I’m peckish!

Manpans

And you aren’t there

Are you pooing?

I feel warm

“I never really cared until I metchoooo”

“And now it chills me to the bone”

…Ten minutes later, they were still coming in.

Me after the texts stop coming in.

Me after the texts stop coming in.

I often wonder what Errol did before text messaging existed. Heck, before even cell phones existed. If he had lived in cave man times, would he have pestered his neighbours with constant smoke signals? Would he have broken the telegraph network in the 19th century? The answer is an emphatic yes.

I'm surprised Errol's enthusiasm hasn't destroyed at least one phone.

I’m surprised Errol’s enthusiasm hasn’t destroyed at least one phone.

Thank god for unlimited texting.

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Posted on May 15, 2013, in My Neighbour Errol, ramblings and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Yes, he would have broken the telegraph system. I could have used his help in middle school when trying to make one of those stinkin things. >.<

    As far as pesting goes, pester him for a day. I'd love to see what his reactions are. XD He is a lot of fun it sounds like. At least he wasn't your mother trying to reach you. If I'm 5 minutes later than normal my mother texts me, five minutes later she starts calling. If I don't answer my phone she calls work. If, for whatever reason they don't know where I am my mother starts panicking and calling my phone again and again and again. I'm 22. I think I'd rather have Errol's hyperactivity and happiness.

  2. 1. I have not stopped laughing at this one. I laughed so hard, I was crying. I just love “Where pan pans?” It’s just so funny and stupid.
    2. Re: mom texts
    My mom does the exact same thing. And I am MUCH older than 22. MUCH.

    • Hahahaha, moms will never change I guess. And yay! I’m glad you liked it Lizette! I figure you’d have a good appreciation :D. You’re like…the ultimate Errol survival guide.

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