Whitless Letters to: GlaDOS
And so I’ve done my last Whitless Letter in the Test Chamber. And since it’s the Test Chamber it was only fitting that I do the letter to GlaDOS. And because I’m moving into Errol’s, it was also only fitting that he be involved. And it’s crazy.
Farewell To The Test Chamber
No pics for this one guys. I am feeling too wistful for such things :D.
Well, it’s begun. This weekend my friends brought me boxes. I mucked out my fridge. I went through my clothes and tossed those that I forgot I even had. I’ve begun the painstaking process of letting everyone in the world know that I will soon be at a new address.
And it finally dawned on me that in just under a month I would be leaving my Test Chamber.
I love my apartment. I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to it yet. Heck, I literally physically raced someone to get it in the first place. Okay…they didn’t know it was racing…but it totally was, I am a badass power walker and suspected they were there for the same apartment…and I was right!
I was terribly scared. It was the first time in my life I didn’t have a roommate (I even shared a bedroom until 17), my first space I could truly call my own, at a time when I really needed to be on my own. In the past, the choice to move was never really a choice. It always came about because a school term ended, or a roommate moved in with her boyfriend, or the house was suddenly being sold. The only other time I made the conscious choice to uproot was when I decided to leave Guelph. Oddly, even though it’s in the same city, it’s just as tough to say goodbye.
I put down roots pretty quickly. I get attached. I’ve lived in this neighbourhood for six years now in two different apartments. The Test Chamber was an experiment in so many ways. It was when I started to experiment financially, to see if I could manage to afford an apartment on my own (answer: yes, I could, but not without being down to the wire). It was a creative experiment when I began to dabble more seriously in writing. It was the place where I helped to create an entire musical. It was my own quiet little space where I learned to be myself.
I won’t miss the constant sounds of construction. Or how narrow my kitchen seems. I won’t miss the extreme heat of the summers. I won’t miss the 24/7 wind howling in the winter. I won’t miss the dust that accumulates so quickly in the higher places of a city. I definitely won’t miss the pigeons.
But I will miss my jogging trail. I will miss my weekly visits to the cemetery. I will miss the hawk that wakes me up in the morning. I will miss the lovely sunlight and watching thunderstorms from my balcony. I will miss being able to walk down the street to visit Dan or Jen. I will miss walking through the park and watching dogs jump and children play. I will miss my big wood door with its hobbit-esque doorknob and the parquet floors. I will miss my plants, which certainly can’t follow me to a basement apartment. I will even miss the sound of the subway, which was a comfort as I went to sleep.
I am excited for a bit of change and what that might bring. But as I look around me at the place that I made my home, I am still a little sad that I had to leave it.
I know that once it happens it will be easier. I know it’s just a place. I know I made the right decision, impulsive as it seemed at the time. I know that once I get to where I’m going I will quickly make a new home and fall in love all over again. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a little sad in the short term.
I swear my posts will get less mushy. I think I will do one more Whitless Letter before I must leave the Chamber forever. Stay tuned for that.
But for now, Farewell, Test Chamber! You were so very awesome and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.