Conversations with Stuff: Pants
Manda: I can’t hear you!
Pants: You have to put me on, Manda.
Manda: No, I don’t!
Pants: Look, I know you’re not my biggest fan.
Manda: Got that right!
Pants: And I will admit, hanging out with me means you have to deal with some unpleasant things.
Manda: You imprison my legs and my happiness!
Pants: But seriously, you’re wearing a towel and in a fetal position.
Manda: I like the towel! It understands my needs!
Pants: How far are you going to get in a towel?
Manda: I will invent the towel dress!
Pants: But I do nice things too! Like protect you from the cold!
Manda: while constricting me!
Pants: Or conceal your unshaven legs!
Manda: Maybe they shouldn’t be concealed! Why can’t you let me be proud?!
Pants: Look, just put me on, okay? It’s not that bad.
Manda: Putting you on means going to work!
Pants: You don’t have a choice. It’s too cold for skirts.
Manda: There are ways around it!
Pants: You clearly don’t want to go to work and are just blaming it on me.
Manda: You’re the reason society is failing!
Pants: Would you rather me ask Tights if they’d like to hang out?
Manda: No, wait! DON’T! FINE! I’M GETTING UP!
Pants: That’s better.
Manda: You win today, you two legged prison. But I’m going to make that towel dress.
Pants: And I will still be here.