This is my coffee table right now:

Yes, that is a can of nutella and parmesan cheese. I have taken to eating condiments now.

My eyes are having trouble staying open. My work day is occupied by this single thought: “Oh god oh god why am I updating bank accounts and not writing. I am so…so very sick of writing these timelines.

But I have to keep going. Why? WHY?! Because I am at 43k. There are three days left of NaNo, and I have 7,000 words left to write. I’m still behind, but not so far behind that it isn’t possible to win.

And I hate myself for that. Oh, it’d be different if say I was at 10k or even 25k. I could stop now, tell myself that I’d done my best, and move on with my life.

But less than 10k left…it is tantalizingly close. THIS is why I hesitated to take on this task in the first place, because I knew I would become consumed with word count. Okay…it’s only one of the reasons…

Truth be told I didn’t think it would be possible to work on a video game and count it as NaNo. I told my friend Errol this. Then Errol, infuriatingly knowing that I would rise to the bait, simply said “Well…I know I would try”.

Curse him. Curse him to the all the septic tanks in the world. Because the worst part of being so close isn’t that I still have far to go. It isn’t that I have been forced to look away from my facebook feed as the 50k posts start errupting.

It’s that if I succeed (and I know I can it’s so close) I will have to deal with this smug face for months to come.

Three days. Here we go. See you all on the other side. And yes, I’m counting this as word count. Because REBEL, that’s why!